.:Colors Of My Mind:.

Roommate: Do want some condoms? I have some extras...
Me: Uh... sure! I mean, if someone needs some or something... I could help 'em out.
Rommie: Yeah, or if YOU need some...
Me: LOL forever alone.
Roomie: heheh
Me: Well, I'll just put them in my Transformers/Bumblebee pencil case I use for tampons. Hopefully, my mom will never need to borrow a tampon...
Roomie: Eh. You could just say the Condom Fairy visited the dorm...
Me: OMFG YES THE CONDOM FAIRY

Revising…

title2come:

I have come to the conclusion that nothing can get me raging quite like a fictional character does.

True story.

And lo, I beheld Castiel, visiting Forever 21. And I said: “What is going on? Where is Dean and Sam?” And he spake (grinning) “There is a convention and the Winchesters will join me shortly. But first I must pick up some pie and a burger!”

 (watching movie- character whips out a small knife that really looks like a butter knife and threatens bad guy back)
Friend: OOOOH look out butter knife will do some damage
Me: Yeah right up there with rusty sporks

 (Watching Stardust- scene where captain lands boat and Tristan & Yvaine are at the prow)
Friend: It's like the happier version of the Titanic!
 (couple get drenched/hairdo's comically destroyed)
Me: If only Jack's hair looked like that in the end... oh, wait, it did.
 (Slow clap)

Conversation with a girl on my floor: 
 (Argument happening when I walk in)
Me: THINK OF THE CHILDREN!
 (She walks in after hearing the argument)
Her: THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!!!
Me: ...
Her: ...
Me: I like your shoe laces. 
Her: thanks, I stole them from the president. 
Me: did we just become best friends? 
Her: I think we did. 
Everyone else: ...DAFUQ?

[Visitor griping about the weather in Washington]: This weather sucks. 
Me: "It is raining master dwarf. And it will continue to rain until it is done."
Visitor: I see what you did there...

I shit you not this just happened...

Dad: look at da cute wabbit...!
Me: my 50 year old father did not just say-
Dad: BUT IT'S SO CUUUUUUUUTE!
Mom: yup. He did.

Bad idea #56

Don’t put Chapstick on before eating a powdered donut. Really. What were you thinking, you idjit.

I find there are very few things that cannot be fixed with art, loud music, and books.

EMP museum, Seattle.